Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
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I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
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