you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
