never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
