no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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