her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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