1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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