Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
