No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize