This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
