Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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