the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
