New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Someone signed my nipple.
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