yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
