when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
