It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
