Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
