oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
im on a boat
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