I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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