its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
