WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
