honey bunches of taint.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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