i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
