You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
so much tequila, so little girl.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
