It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
there is glitter all over my balls
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