The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
a search helicopter?!
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
