Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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