he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
The air taste purple.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
