he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
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You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
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Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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