I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
