A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
