At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i love accidental penises.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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