Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
