Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
