420 ftw
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
