no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.