They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.