I seem to have left my pride at pride
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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