Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize