Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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