I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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