I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We have started to decorate penises.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
