were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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