when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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