why do cheetos always look like penises
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
