he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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