i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.