I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week