Don't you send me to vm
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.