Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.