she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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