I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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