i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
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America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
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U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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