So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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