I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you win again, gameday.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
