it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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