I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
