Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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