Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
