WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
