whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize