he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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