just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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