I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize