We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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